Social networking has so many advantages for teenage kids. So do email and texting. I resisted letting these things into my son's life, but I quickly became a believer. For a kid who is inclined to crawl into his shell, getting texts and being "tagged" can work magic. It helps him feel included, helps him create his own identity, and gives him confidence navigating social situations.
Kids are less likely to get left out when it's so easy to contact everyone. Say a group is spontaneously going to walk home from school and stop for ice cream instead of riding the bus. It's so easy to text lots of people, including moms, to set the plan in motion. And it feels great not only to be included, but to have that means of independence.
Kids also get the chance to express themselves through their online identity. Berkeley found a dictionary definition of the word "pieless" (in our OED, of course) and used it as his profile picture for months. Not everyone gets his sense of humor, but he doesn't care. It feels safe to express it in that way whether people get it or not.
My favorite aspect of these modern innovations is the social practice they provide. Too young too date, but suddenly interested in friendships with the opposite sex, social networking, email and texting give "safe" ways to communicate comfortably, which will hopefully translate to confidence later on, face-to-face.
However, even though I see so many advantages for my son, I know that at that age, if I could have had access to such means it would have just added fuel to the fire. I was already somewhat inclined to inappropriate behavior for my age. I felt plenty included, I had buckets of identity, and I certainly didn't need "practice" being social. I would have needed serious limits with social networking, email and phone use.
So my question is this: how much should parents monitor these outlets? Sometimes I feel guilty peeking in on his private conversations, but I also feel like I have to. It's my job...right? After all, he might need help dealing with girls like...me. And where do you draw the line as a parent with things the kids are chatting about? Do you make your child delete friends for online bullying of other kids? Using the F-word? Anyone willing to share?
