Moab rocks.

Bear with me. Here are a zillion spring break pictures.

First we got in the car and drove. It looked very much like this, hour after hour:

We got to see my lovely aunt Gail. (Am I really taller than you, Gail?)

We went to a bouncy fun place two days in a row. The cousins had a blast.

Two of my favorite men, two peas in a pod. My brother Carl and Berkeley.

Yeah, we curled Sam's hair. He was pretty stoked.

Then we headed south, to the most surreal landscape in America.
I think the commentary can just drop off here, since the pictures say it all.

Happy Spring!

where the sidewalk ends

I am not a runner. I like to walk and know the sidewalks of my neighborhood and adjacent neighborhoods inside and out. I also like to go to the gym, and feel familiar with the sidewalk from the parking lot to the front doors. I love the familiar rubber of the treadmill, the stair machine, and the elliptical trainer. They are a great substitute for pavement. I also love the TV monitors and my Ipod. They are a great substitute for nature and fresh air.

This morning I got ready to go to the gym, pulled out into the street, and felt that strange deflated thud of a flat tire as I drove the first few yards. I knew the tire was low the day before--so just a slow leak. I got it reinflated, thanks to the mobile AAA guy, and headed to the tire store for what I hoped would be a quick repair. Maybe the duration of one complimentary bag of popcorn. Instead I was faced with a 5 hour wait. One hour until Maia gets home, still in my gym clothes, I set out for a very long walk culminating with a very long hill. Sounded good to me, because I was going to miss the gym after all, and I had my Ipod and waterbottle.

The crazy thing I didn't count on, which I'm sure the runners of this town are well aware of, is that there are no consistent sidewalks. I had to zig zag back and forth over this crazy busy street to try to keep up with the disjointed sidewalks. No shoulder, just ditches and people's junky yards to walk in. And I wondered, what is the point of a sidewalk that just ends? Seriously.

who needs it?

The magical world of television. So much allure in a little gray box. Many times this week I subconsciously thought of flipping it on, only to remember the pledge. I realized, among other things, that I use television to unwind, to reward myself for accomplishing something, to motivate myself to sit down and accomplish something (like folding laundry or sit-ups), or simply to have human voices as background noise. Oh, and I use it as a babysitter. It's the opiate of the masses. I did not miss the act of shopping during pledge week, but I missed the television. I missed watching it and I missed the kids watching it. More than the kids did, even. The kids actually genuinely enjoyed playing with toys, doing crafts, cooking with mom, and playing games. Go figure.

The weekend came, and with it my brother Ken and his super-fun girls. Who needs t.v. when you have a model of a genuine old-school steam logging mill to play with? Thanks, uncle Ken! And who needs t.v. when you have cousins? I don't think anyone missed it.


We did cave and let them play the Wii, though, only while the adults were off at other things Saturday morning. Ken and Grandpa went to a logging model conference, (documented in Ken's latest post).

Grandma, Berkeley, Mike and I went to the district competition for Oregon's Battle of the Books. This was so cool. Berkeley's team played three very strong battles before being eliminated. They were 3rd, (based on points earned) going into the final rounds. It was gratifying to see how much they enjoyed themselves. After working so hard to study all those books, they were laughing and cracking jokes with each other and seemed just happy to be there.

Go team!
Thanks, to those of you who followed pledge week. Mike's take on it has been very positive--and I want to clarify that this is not something he ever asked for. But every day he has thanked me. He believes in doing hard things just because they are hard, and he has a point. Any kind of sacrifice brings a sort of clarity to our lives. Thanks, Mike, for the inspiration.

day four. yes, of pledge week.

Pledge week (no spending, no TV, no video games) is getting a tad bit trickier. Like today we had this cute boy over we've never babysat before. Maia and I were both worried about what we would do with him. There is no ice-breaker like TV, right? Well, instead they got out a game and we played it (or some Maia-inspired version of it) all morning. It consisted of Maia and Andrew taking turns running across the room to show me a "whoonu" card; I read it to them, they discussed whether it was something they both liked, and then put it in one of 4 piles: Maia likes, Andrew likes, they both like, or "the grandma pile." The grandma pile held such things as "knitting," "journal writing," and "poodles." Maia's held such things as "dancing" and "glitter." They apparently share an interest in "political figures," "fishing" and "hot tubs." They got to know each other, that's for sure. After going through the whole entire box.

Now they are playing with a dusty old box of lincoln logs with friend #3. Not bad little architects. Not a bad day.

Back to the psychoanalysis. Bridget says we stay busy to avoid falling into the stay-at-home mom trap. I'm with her 100% on that. I think we all work very hard to avoid becoming frumpy, under-stimulated, and dull. Plus, we all feel genuinely better when we are contributing to the family and community. So it's valid to want to avoid "the trap." But it still hits me that there are many other traps to navigate around. Overeating, overspending, overcomitting, vanity, insecurity...despair. It seems like we should have the ability to stand still and face ourselves--and like what we see. Not just physically. But to really be content, and not want any of the trappings to complete us.

Oh, which reminds me. I spent money yesterday. Driving the kids to dance class I realized I was out of gas. Drove to the gas station. Realized in the nick of time that I didn't have any money. Pretty funny, eh? I made it home, dug out the debit card, and went back for gas. I thought about brining my jar of change instead--I haven't counted out coinage to buy gas in many years and thought it would kind of funny. But then I thought about how the men at the gas station have always been so nice to me... When Mike walked in the door Maia was quick to tell on me, as if I had really done something wrong. That gave us all a good laugh. Another good laugh was when I ran out of eggs this morning. Oh wait, that wasn't funny at all. I guess I'm going to use my $4 to buy eggs.

day three of pledge week

On the "no credit cards," I decided to not buy anything unnecessary at all. Which, as it turns out, means nothing so far. Three days. And I know a lot of people are laughing at me thinking, three days without going to a store? Who goes to a store more often than that? ... I do. I rarely keep a shopping list, so I pretty much go whenever I need something.

Moreover, I go whenever I have the time. So if there is ever an extra 30 minutes, or an hour, I can run to get groceries. Accomplishing this little task makes me feel that much more productive. And I'm always running low on something, or have some new idea about what to fix for dinner, or what to bring to a party, etc. So I keep on running to the store...but what am I running from, Dr. Phil would want to know? What emotional need is filled by staying busy? Do I need to feel ultra-productive to feel validated?

And here is the "ah-ha" moment: I have a compulsive need to pack my schedule as full as possible. And it's really not about shopping. I am not an out-of-control spender by any means; I don't carry a negative balance on my credit cards, but I do carry a negative balance on my sanity, so to speak. And I am drawn to certain time-fillers to a degree disproportionate to their need to be done. Sometimes I just like to be "out," doing something.

So I think I need to transfer that emotional need to other tasks that are more fulfilling, like writing music, scrapbooking, and blogging. And maybe some tasks that actually need to be done, like painting my trim, getting acquainted with my shaggy yard, and cleaning out closets. I don't want to feel like I spend my days running in circles.

Hmm...20 minutes was not enough time to fully figure this out, but I have to pick up the kids from school. More tomorrow.

day two of pledge week

If you're just tuning in and don't know about pledge week, read all about it.

I'm not really feeling the pain tonight. There's nothing on t.v. on tuesdays anyway. I had a busy day of teaching art lit; the kids played with friends and had piano lessons. Tonight, the girls and I did watercolor and read Anne of Green Gables. Mike and the boys had scouts. The kids went to bed. Then Mike and I ate pie (thanks, Heidi) and played a high scoring game of scrabble--314 to 307. Yes, Mike won. Mike always wins.



This pledge week is starting to feel like the snow days--an excuse to slow down.

Also, I'm having a little breakthrough about my emotional connection with shopping...(my emotional connection with t.v. is a little more obvious) but I'm not sure I can articulate it yet. Stay tuned. Okay, one hint: it's not what you might think.

day one of pledge week

The kids and I struck on the perfect birthday gift idea for Mike. And if you could have seen his eyes light up when he opened the bag full of t.v. and wii remotes and my debit and credit cards, you would know we were spot on.

Here is the card that came with the gift:

On the "no credit cards," I'm quite seriously going to try not to purchase a single thing. I only have about $4 of cash, and limited memory of how to write a check. And Mike has my cards. So that's the goal. No purchases whatsoever.

And of course, this is the week Maia has no preschool, so it would have been fun to take her to McDonald's and even just to Costco, and it would sure be easy to let her watch t.v.! But we're going to interact instead. Like people did in the olden days.

I'll keep you posted on how this little experiment goes. After all, I won't have anything else to do! Ha ha ha ha! Happy birthday, Mike! Here's to quality time!