On the "no credit cards," I decided to not buy anything unnecessary at all. Which, as it turns out, means nothing so far. Three days. And I know a lot of people are laughing at me thinking, three days without going to a store? Who goes to a store more often than that? ... I do. I rarely keep a shopping list, so I pretty much go whenever I need something.
Moreover, I go whenever I have the time. So if there is ever an extra 30 minutes, or an hour, I can run to get groceries. Accomplishing this little task makes me feel that much more productive. And I'm always running low on something, or have some new idea about what to fix for dinner, or what to bring to a party, etc. So I keep on running to the store...but what am I running from, Dr. Phil would want to know? What emotional need is filled by staying busy? Do I need to feel ultra-productive to feel validated?
And here is the "ah-ha" moment: I have a compulsive need to pack my schedule as full as possible. And it's really not about shopping. I am not an out-of-control spender by any means; I don't carry a negative balance on my credit cards, but I do carry a negative balance on my sanity, so to speak. And I am drawn to certain time-fillers to a degree disproportionate to their need to be done. Sometimes I just like to be "out," doing something.
So I think I need to transfer that emotional need to other tasks that are more fulfilling, like writing music, scrapbooking, and blogging. And maybe some tasks that actually need to be done, like painting my trim, getting acquainted with my shaggy yard, and cleaning out closets. I don't want to feel like I spend my days running in circles.
Hmm...20 minutes was not enough time to fully figure this out, but I have to pick up the kids from school. More tomorrow.
6 comments:
I'm not laughing. I go to the store way too much myself and I do keep lists, so who knows what my problem is. Good luck with the psycho-analysis.
I love the idea of the pledge week! Ben and I cancelled our cable and have spent so much time reading and playing games with Greyson (not that I let him watch much TV anyways). But we've found that life is a little slower, a little more enjoyable. We've even pulled out a few games for Ben and I to play. What a great gift you gave Mike. As to the emotional side of "being out" I can totally relate and I too am staying home lately just to prove I can.
Dad can relate to the shopping to be out and having something to do. He goes OFTEN. He has his favorite stores--Canned Foods, Michaels, Habitat for Humanity. Why must we always be busy?
I can relate to this. I am always running to the store. Making my days really busy because I can't stand the idea of being home all day- it makes me feel lazy. And I have a real disdain for laziness. I think there's a trap you can fall in as a SAHM that I am so fearful to ever fall into.
I love the comments--I didn't know people would relate so well to this.
aaah, very insightful. I hate little runs to the store and will ration milk, pouring from one cereal bowl to the next to make it to my weekly grocery trip.
Post a Comment