This is dedicated to Sweet Polly Purebred, whose recent post about women and education really got me thinking.
She asks, What part of your post-high school education do you use on a daily basis?
The question intrigues me so much because I find it's impossible to separate what I learned in the classroom from who I became. For me, those were still formative years, so I'm glad I was in school. I can't imagine a better environment for someone still coming into her own.
I was a late bloomer, academically. I went into college a major goof-off, skating into my school of choice with barely passable grades and ACT scores. I spent as little time as I could studying and even less in class. I left papers and projects to the last minute, and had several close scrapes, including once missing a final and another time falling asleep during one. I chose my major late in the game, after taking whatever classes sounded good for two years. I realized I had more credits in English than anything else, so I declared it my major and started filling out the rest of my semesters more systematically. In short, it's a miracle I graduated with a relatively high GPA and with professors urging me to stay for graduate school.
By that point I was married and pregnant. I was much more engaged in my coursework, but I wasn't concerned about having a career. All I wanted out of life was growing inside me. Then after the baby came I realized that as much as he was the center of my universe, he didn't need me 24/7. I am not saying that all women should feel this way. I'm talking about this particular child and this particular mom. We were up for much more. And it was so convenient. I was there, living just off campus, still visiting professors and still very much living the student life. Mike decided to stay for graduate school so it was an easy decision to throw an application together and start a masters degree. That's when I really began to work. During the next two years I threw myself into the culture of academia, taught freshman English classes, and received only one cursed A- to mar my perfect GPA. At the same time I was a mom, a singer in a band, and an active member of my ward.
Those two years were both stressful and invigorating. I pushed myself to my limits and learned, ultimately, that I couldn't have it all but I could come pretty close. The awareness of my own ability was by far the most important outcome of my college experience. Knowing I could perform so well became a part of my core identity. And that's the part of my education I use every day. It's not what I "learned" in the classroom, but the path of learning that changed me. As William Butler Yeats says, "Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."
9 comments:
Your comments and title reminded me of an interview I heard on the Bob Edwards Show with Rafe Esquith. He was talking about his class and his new book, Lighting Their Fires.
That was an amazing post, Brenda. We are proud of all you've accomplished, especially in the mothering department.
So why were you upset when we categorized you as a butterfly? We loved you that way. (Although remembering back, bad grades were a frustration because we knew you were capable of better.)
What you've become is a faithful, caring, creative, beautiful woman. Underline all those adjectives!
This is fantastic Brenda and one of the reason why I call you my friend. I learn so much from you and you probably don't even realize it.
Wow, this topic is s huge source of sadness for me. I grew up in a home where the word college was never mentioned. My parents never went. They were both successful. I guess they never felt it necessary to give us kids the option of going to college.
I remember college counselors coming into some of my junior year HS classes and not realizing that they were talking to me. I just didn't know it was an option I had. After high school, when my best friends started going off to college, that's when it hit me that I didn't have a plan. It made me angry. I took it upon myself to take some classes through the local community college, but ultimately had to choose work to pay for rent and bills. I really feel like I missed out and that makes me sad.
Now that I'm a Mom I can't imagine not giving my kids the option to further their education.
All that being said, I cherish all the learning experiences I do get. I try to take advantage of the classes offered through Parks and Rec. and PCC. I just recently finished a Spanish class. And I know that plenty of learning opportunities await.
With what I've been given, I have done my best and I guess my life's experiences have been my classroom.
Thanks for the post. It felt good to vent.
I like that "lighting of a fire". A bucket can only get so full. A fire can keep burning and can light other fires. I was telling you about a recent youth conference speaker who encouraged to be a builder. In the same vein he talked about lighting fires (instead of extinquishing them) with positive words of encouragement. So...way to go, Sis!
I completely agree about it's how the process changes you. Lane and I were talking about that not too long ago!
I'll tell you what lights my fire: Public Television, and books from the library. Sometimes they ember and flame each other: The Botany of Desire, read the book, then watched the PBS special. Sometimes the other way around: a special on black beard, then a book on piracy. I'd say the teacher's job is to point and then get out of the way. -Carl
I agree with all! My master's degree was a very stressful time (I was pregnant with #2 by the time I started) and in retrospect maybe I shouldn't have stretched myself so thin. But without it, I think I would feel less comfortable with who I am--I needed that extra dose of education. Somehow it was important for me to have that in order to feel more ready to burrow in for years as a mom. Does that make sense?
Wow! Great post, Brenda. Loved this. You are such an inspiration to me. I loved hearing about your path of education. I learned a lot of details there I didn't know and I thought I KNEW your details. :)
Read this. Along the same lines as your post.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-11-05/investing-in-adolescent-girls/
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