the kind of kid

Berkeley is the kind of kid who doesn't really like me blogging about him. To that, I will argue that this is not just his birthday, it is my fourteen year anniversary of being a mom. So if I need to mark it in some outward public way, he's just going to have to cope.

Besides, Berkeley is the kind of kid who understands his mom, and is quick to forgive.

Berkeley is the kind of kid who also makes his mom stop and think. Like this weekend. I dropped him off at the church to go to camporee. I asked him if he had payed his $10 to his leader yet, thinking maybe Mike took care of this. Berkeley said no, but he had his own money on him for that. Oh, your own money, okay. Well let me give you ten dollars anyway, because there is going to be rock climbing and other things that you might want money for. Again, he said no, he had extra money for that. I tried to give it to him, to physically force it on him, and he batted me away. He said "if I only have my own money, I'll be less likely to spend it." This is where I stop and think, you see, because for me that sentence is an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

Berkeley is the kind of kid who believes in self-sufficiency deep in his core. He is the kind of kid who can't stand the thought of frivolous spending. He is also the kind of kid who wants to grow up and avoid any kind of pampering. Not that he's in a rush to grow up.

Berkeley is the kind of big kid who knows how to play like a little kid. He is a loyal friend and loves having his buddies around him. Here are some shots from his "party." At this age, we're finding, a party is food and friends. Nothing more is required. No loot bags, no pin-the-whatever-on-the-whatever. Just music, laughter, and spontaneous games involving pelting each other with grapes, or chanting around the fire.






Berkeley is the kind of kid I count myself blessed to know. Thanks for making me stop and think. Happy Birthday, kiddo.

Trimming the Hedges

Yeah, the arch is cool. But look at Sam's hair. One month ago.
At the peak of its glory.

This was two days ago when I decided maybe Sam would benefit from a clearer field of vision. (The kids are working on their trio version of "Yankee Doodle," which for some reason, involves a lot of elbowing.)

Why did I do it? I worry I may have robbed him of some of his super powers. I grabbed the scissors, just wanting him to be able to see again. I fully intended to keep the shaggy vibe going, but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't know how to stop. And now he's just a regular boy. Sorry, Sammy.

Moab rocks.

Bear with me. Here are a zillion spring break pictures.

First we got in the car and drove. It looked very much like this, hour after hour:

We got to see my lovely aunt Gail. (Am I really taller than you, Gail?)

We went to a bouncy fun place two days in a row. The cousins had a blast.

Two of my favorite men, two peas in a pod. My brother Carl and Berkeley.

Yeah, we curled Sam's hair. He was pretty stoked.

Then we headed south, to the most surreal landscape in America.
I think the commentary can just drop off here, since the pictures say it all.

Happy Spring!

where the sidewalk ends

I am not a runner. I like to walk and know the sidewalks of my neighborhood and adjacent neighborhoods inside and out. I also like to go to the gym, and feel familiar with the sidewalk from the parking lot to the front doors. I love the familiar rubber of the treadmill, the stair machine, and the elliptical trainer. They are a great substitute for pavement. I also love the TV monitors and my Ipod. They are a great substitute for nature and fresh air.

This morning I got ready to go to the gym, pulled out into the street, and felt that strange deflated thud of a flat tire as I drove the first few yards. I knew the tire was low the day before--so just a slow leak. I got it reinflated, thanks to the mobile AAA guy, and headed to the tire store for what I hoped would be a quick repair. Maybe the duration of one complimentary bag of popcorn. Instead I was faced with a 5 hour wait. One hour until Maia gets home, still in my gym clothes, I set out for a very long walk culminating with a very long hill. Sounded good to me, because I was going to miss the gym after all, and I had my Ipod and waterbottle.

The crazy thing I didn't count on, which I'm sure the runners of this town are well aware of, is that there are no consistent sidewalks. I had to zig zag back and forth over this crazy busy street to try to keep up with the disjointed sidewalks. No shoulder, just ditches and people's junky yards to walk in. And I wondered, what is the point of a sidewalk that just ends? Seriously.

who needs it?

The magical world of television. So much allure in a little gray box. Many times this week I subconsciously thought of flipping it on, only to remember the pledge. I realized, among other things, that I use television to unwind, to reward myself for accomplishing something, to motivate myself to sit down and accomplish something (like folding laundry or sit-ups), or simply to have human voices as background noise. Oh, and I use it as a babysitter. It's the opiate of the masses. I did not miss the act of shopping during pledge week, but I missed the television. I missed watching it and I missed the kids watching it. More than the kids did, even. The kids actually genuinely enjoyed playing with toys, doing crafts, cooking with mom, and playing games. Go figure.

The weekend came, and with it my brother Ken and his super-fun girls. Who needs t.v. when you have a model of a genuine old-school steam logging mill to play with? Thanks, uncle Ken! And who needs t.v. when you have cousins? I don't think anyone missed it.


We did cave and let them play the Wii, though, only while the adults were off at other things Saturday morning. Ken and Grandpa went to a logging model conference, (documented in Ken's latest post).

Grandma, Berkeley, Mike and I went to the district competition for Oregon's Battle of the Books. This was so cool. Berkeley's team played three very strong battles before being eliminated. They were 3rd, (based on points earned) going into the final rounds. It was gratifying to see how much they enjoyed themselves. After working so hard to study all those books, they were laughing and cracking jokes with each other and seemed just happy to be there.

Go team!
Thanks, to those of you who followed pledge week. Mike's take on it has been very positive--and I want to clarify that this is not something he ever asked for. But every day he has thanked me. He believes in doing hard things just because they are hard, and he has a point. Any kind of sacrifice brings a sort of clarity to our lives. Thanks, Mike, for the inspiration.

day four. yes, of pledge week.

Pledge week (no spending, no TV, no video games) is getting a tad bit trickier. Like today we had this cute boy over we've never babysat before. Maia and I were both worried about what we would do with him. There is no ice-breaker like TV, right? Well, instead they got out a game and we played it (or some Maia-inspired version of it) all morning. It consisted of Maia and Andrew taking turns running across the room to show me a "whoonu" card; I read it to them, they discussed whether it was something they both liked, and then put it in one of 4 piles: Maia likes, Andrew likes, they both like, or "the grandma pile." The grandma pile held such things as "knitting," "journal writing," and "poodles." Maia's held such things as "dancing" and "glitter." They apparently share an interest in "political figures," "fishing" and "hot tubs." They got to know each other, that's for sure. After going through the whole entire box.

Now they are playing with a dusty old box of lincoln logs with friend #3. Not bad little architects. Not a bad day.

Back to the psychoanalysis. Bridget says we stay busy to avoid falling into the stay-at-home mom trap. I'm with her 100% on that. I think we all work very hard to avoid becoming frumpy, under-stimulated, and dull. Plus, we all feel genuinely better when we are contributing to the family and community. So it's valid to want to avoid "the trap." But it still hits me that there are many other traps to navigate around. Overeating, overspending, overcomitting, vanity, insecurity...despair. It seems like we should have the ability to stand still and face ourselves--and like what we see. Not just physically. But to really be content, and not want any of the trappings to complete us.

Oh, which reminds me. I spent money yesterday. Driving the kids to dance class I realized I was out of gas. Drove to the gas station. Realized in the nick of time that I didn't have any money. Pretty funny, eh? I made it home, dug out the debit card, and went back for gas. I thought about brining my jar of change instead--I haven't counted out coinage to buy gas in many years and thought it would kind of funny. But then I thought about how the men at the gas station have always been so nice to me... When Mike walked in the door Maia was quick to tell on me, as if I had really done something wrong. That gave us all a good laugh. Another good laugh was when I ran out of eggs this morning. Oh wait, that wasn't funny at all. I guess I'm going to use my $4 to buy eggs.

day three of pledge week

On the "no credit cards," I decided to not buy anything unnecessary at all. Which, as it turns out, means nothing so far. Three days. And I know a lot of people are laughing at me thinking, three days without going to a store? Who goes to a store more often than that? ... I do. I rarely keep a shopping list, so I pretty much go whenever I need something.

Moreover, I go whenever I have the time. So if there is ever an extra 30 minutes, or an hour, I can run to get groceries. Accomplishing this little task makes me feel that much more productive. And I'm always running low on something, or have some new idea about what to fix for dinner, or what to bring to a party, etc. So I keep on running to the store...but what am I running from, Dr. Phil would want to know? What emotional need is filled by staying busy? Do I need to feel ultra-productive to feel validated?

And here is the "ah-ha" moment: I have a compulsive need to pack my schedule as full as possible. And it's really not about shopping. I am not an out-of-control spender by any means; I don't carry a negative balance on my credit cards, but I do carry a negative balance on my sanity, so to speak. And I am drawn to certain time-fillers to a degree disproportionate to their need to be done. Sometimes I just like to be "out," doing something.

So I think I need to transfer that emotional need to other tasks that are more fulfilling, like writing music, scrapbooking, and blogging. And maybe some tasks that actually need to be done, like painting my trim, getting acquainted with my shaggy yard, and cleaning out closets. I don't want to feel like I spend my days running in circles.

Hmm...20 minutes was not enough time to fully figure this out, but I have to pick up the kids from school. More tomorrow.

day two of pledge week

If you're just tuning in and don't know about pledge week, read all about it.

I'm not really feeling the pain tonight. There's nothing on t.v. on tuesdays anyway. I had a busy day of teaching art lit; the kids played with friends and had piano lessons. Tonight, the girls and I did watercolor and read Anne of Green Gables. Mike and the boys had scouts. The kids went to bed. Then Mike and I ate pie (thanks, Heidi) and played a high scoring game of scrabble--314 to 307. Yes, Mike won. Mike always wins.



This pledge week is starting to feel like the snow days--an excuse to slow down.

Also, I'm having a little breakthrough about my emotional connection with shopping...(my emotional connection with t.v. is a little more obvious) but I'm not sure I can articulate it yet. Stay tuned. Okay, one hint: it's not what you might think.

day one of pledge week

The kids and I struck on the perfect birthday gift idea for Mike. And if you could have seen his eyes light up when he opened the bag full of t.v. and wii remotes and my debit and credit cards, you would know we were spot on.

Here is the card that came with the gift:

On the "no credit cards," I'm quite seriously going to try not to purchase a single thing. I only have about $4 of cash, and limited memory of how to write a check. And Mike has my cards. So that's the goal. No purchases whatsoever.

And of course, this is the week Maia has no preschool, so it would have been fun to take her to McDonald's and even just to Costco, and it would sure be easy to let her watch t.v.! But we're going to interact instead. Like people did in the olden days.

I'll keep you posted on how this little experiment goes. After all, I won't have anything else to do! Ha ha ha ha! Happy birthday, Mike! Here's to quality time!

ART NIGHT

I was in charge of this school activity last week. It was a family art night, featuring booths with art projects, a lego building station, a jazz quartet, and a lego sculpture artist. We were expecting about 200 people to come but ended up with nearly 400! I was surprised! But luckily we also had great turnout of fabulous volunteers, especially of the teenage variety. They more or less ran the booths, carried heavy objects, passed out water bottles, lured wandering children to project tables, filled the need for extra prep work, and they stayed after and cleaned up!!!

Spin Art

Hannah and Maia with their "valentines" from the card booth

Lego creation station

The piece de resistance was definitely the giant lego sculpture. This was created by a dad of one of the kindergarteners--we call him "Lego Dwayne." I can't do his rocket sculpture justice with what would be a lame attempt at describing it. It came apart and contained several swinging parts inside with smaller planes and rockets. When I asked Sam, "wasn't that cool when Dwayne took it apart?" he said straightforwardly, "yes, I nearly fainted."

Rapture

Notice Dwayne's "signature" in legos over the flag

Yarn Art

Disney animation

When it was supposed to be over at 8 pm, people were still going strong and having a great time, and yet I was home at 9:30. My own kids were among the most helpful from start to finish, including hours of cutting and sorting and preparing during the days beforehand. They also gave lots of encouragement for all my posters, signs and flyers. It felt great knowing the kids appreciated my efforts. It also felt amazing having all the help pour in from my dear friends, acquaintances, and even strangers!

My neighbor, Aaron, does some impromptu cariactures for people

This kid from my ward, Skylar (on trumpet) brought some jazz friends

And Sam gets jiggy with it

Love is in the air...

And it smells like this!

Let me back up. I have always disliked Valentine's day. Ever since I was twelve and I received my first heart shaped box of candy from a boy who liked me. I felt so...manipulated. In high school I broke up with a perfectly good boyfriend once on valentine's day, because I just couldn't take the pressure. The flowers, the candy, the carefully chosen tokens...there is something so nauseating about it. Does anyone else share that problem? That intense aversion to pink, pre-packaged romance?

My sweet, patient husband knows I have these weird hangups. (One of the countless adorable things about me.) He likes to call my bluff, like when I made fun of my roommate's boyfriend for bringing her flowers, Mike put flowers on my windshield the next day. And this weekend, he booked a romantic room at the beach and planned my perfect day. We hiked, shopped, ate seafood, hot-tubbed, napped and went to a movie. All of these activities are in my top-10 favorites, and half of them are in Mike's bottom-10 dislikes (can you guess which half?).

Here are some pictures from our romantic hike to Drift Creek falls:

Looking down on the waterfall from the suspension bridge.

Sunlight through the mossy trees.

Thank you, Mike! And...it's hard to say, but here goes: Happy Valentine's day!

I have come to terms with my dislike of the holiday by making it all-about-the-kids. The last couple of years we've done fancy dinners (at home) and chocolate fondue with the kids. This year we let them have a "party," with heart shaped pizza, games, and heart-shaped cookies made into "fruit pizzas." Yum.

"Do you love your neighbor?"

Next time you have a bunch of kids over, of any age, this is a great game. The person in the middle asks, "do you love your neighbor?" If the child says yes, the neighbors have to switch places before the "it child" grabs a spot. OR the question "do you love your neighbor?" can lead to "No. But I love people with bare feet..." (or some such qualifier) then all those children have to jump up and switch spots. The child left in the center is "it."

Big, loving fun. I hope your weekends were equally wonderful!

Lil' Bookworms

My week is way too busy for me to sit around blogging, but I still just feel like reaching out to everybody right now and saying "hi." The issue on my mind is children's literature. A great friend of mine with a 5-year old asked about good read-aloud chapter books for that age, and it got me thinking about everything we have enjoyed as a family. My mom used to make those long hours on car trips go by faster reading such classics as Trumpeter of the Swans and ... what else mom?

Now I read books aloud--it's my favorite part of traveling. I almost want to plan a road trip on the release date of the new Fablehaven book. Sometimes we pull into a stop and nobody wants to get out until the end of the chapter.

So for 5-year olds I was thinking the Boxcar Children series, the American Girl books, the Borrowers...what else? Please comment with your suggestions. I have to admit we read the first Harry Potter books with our five year olds. And I read many Young Readers Choice books and Battle of the Books books aloud with everyone present. I may be targeting the 9 year-old, but it's often the 5 and 7 year-olds who are begging for more. The 13 year-old has been known to stop by for a chapter of Little House.

I started Anne of Green Gables last night with the girls--the descriptions are so lengthy and florid--not really for 5 year-olds. But then today I heard Maia summarizing the first couple of chapters for her little friend, so I'm going to stick with it.

So what are your favorites from childhood, and what are you reading with your kids?